Date:Friday April 1 2011
As we enter April and fresh details begin to emerge, it's rumoured that the new stadium will be constructed in several different shades of green.
In the face of growing public concern that the proposed development is a monstrous carbuncle neither necessary nor wanted by 82% of the local population, WTF development have come up with a plan to appease those who object to the destruction of the green belt.
WTF spokesman Brook Bond was overheard saying: "With a bit of luck this should get the tree huggers off our back until big Les slips the plans through."
"It's genius," he said. "Everything will be green - external walls, roof, car park, new access road,
Rugby pitch, floodlight pylons, running track, hotel, massive housing estate, shops, the Sheik's tent, everything. You name it, we're painting it green with the odd brown fleck to give it a proper rural look."
"We're being proactive here. We considered letting moss grow on some of the 20,000 seats, and that will happen eventually, but rather than wait a few months, we've decided to do them in green right from the start."
"The tiny minority who bleat about protecting the green belt won't even notice the difference when it's finished. In fact, with no more noisy aircraft, the whole area will become a haven of peace and tranquility where families can picnic and perhaps take in a match at the same time."
Asked if he was concerned that all this green would clash with the football club's traditional quartered kit, Bond said: "What colour's that then?"
When further questioned on how the football club could possibly benefit financially from losing all its assets and paying rent in a new stadium, the WTF spokesman had nothing to say.
Date:Friday April 1 2011
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